7.12.2009
7.06.2009
Booby-Traps and Tear-Soaked Nights
I want to write a book. Now, I've never really been all that great at creative writing, but I would consider myself pretty capable of communicating something that I didn't have to make up by myself. In the case of this particular book on my mind, it would be drawn from personal and vicarious experience, and the content would be real, raw, and relevant.
I want to write a book about what to expect when you graduate college. You might be thinking, there are tons of books out there about that! Books that pretend to have all the answers about job hunting. Books that give options for delaying the real world. Books that encourage twentysomething girls to seek God first, then a husband, then babies (Have a career? What's that?), and twentysomething boys to marry a girl who wants nothing more in life than to submit to her husband and bear him children.
I read all these books, cover to cover. And yet here I am, just a year out of college, treading water and grasping for a hand to pull my exhausted body through the current that is trying its hardest to drown me. Those books did nothing for me, but why?
Probably because they weren't based on reality. They weren't based on what actually happened to a twentysomething and how they survived it. Those books are idealistic, and preach nice thoughts, but when reality crashes over you and your only means of survival are some unrealistic manuals for life written by someone trying to make a buck at your expense...well, drowning seems inevitable.
However, we have parents. We have friends in their 30s. We know people who survived being a twentysomething, and more likely than not, they barely kept their head above water for most of that time. But they survived.
I really wish I had someone tell me how to survive being a twentysomething when it doesn't involve being married before I graduate college, having mommy and daddy hand me job or a house, or staying in school for 10 years to become a doctor. How does the average person do it? How does the normal, middle-class twentysomething transition from the padded walls of the college to the booby-trap laden "real world" rushing at them?
Well, I don't have any answers, yet. But I do know how it feels, some things to watch out for, and how many tear-soaked nights it will take. And other people, who did it differently than me, will have insights I never had the priviledge of learning.
So this is my thought: These books we are encouraged to read don't have all the answers...but neither do I. But while I can't give solid answers (that's what those other books tried to do, and failed), I can leave behind the reassurance to other twentysomethings that someone else knows how it feels. It's going to hurt. You will cry...probably alot. You will deperately miss the friends that college easily handed to you and then just as easily ripped out from under you. It's going to feel like you are drowning, and it's going to feel like the struggling to get by will never end. And despite all of the hard stuff, some amazing things are going to happen in the midst of it, shaping who you end up being when you finally collapse on the shore, wiping the cruel water off your face.
I want to collect stories from twentysomethings. I want to hear how the people who got jobs handed them right out of college did it. Was it the luck of the draw, or did they do something brilliant to set themselves up for that? And either way, how did it feel to be a twentysomething and on your own? I want to hear how people who had a harder time figuring themselves out and finding a job than I did managed to keep their head above water and come out on the other side alive. I want to hear about those people who did manage to avoid the real world and go on an adventure. Did they love it, or was it hard as hell?
Maybe if I had read that book, one with a foundation in realism rather than idealism, maybe then I would have felt less alone in this whole process. Maybe if someone had told me that there isn't one way to be a twentysomething, I would have panicked less.
Maybe I will collect twentysomething stories someday, but first I need stop breathing in water and keep swimming toward the shore, however far away it may be.
Currently listening to: "Boston" by Augustana (Check out Imeem player at the bottom of the page)
I want to write a book about what to expect when you graduate college. You might be thinking, there are tons of books out there about that! Books that pretend to have all the answers about job hunting. Books that give options for delaying the real world. Books that encourage twentysomething girls to seek God first, then a husband, then babies (Have a career? What's that?), and twentysomething boys to marry a girl who wants nothing more in life than to submit to her husband and bear him children.
I read all these books, cover to cover. And yet here I am, just a year out of college, treading water and grasping for a hand to pull my exhausted body through the current that is trying its hardest to drown me. Those books did nothing for me, but why?
Probably because they weren't based on reality. They weren't based on what actually happened to a twentysomething and how they survived it. Those books are idealistic, and preach nice thoughts, but when reality crashes over you and your only means of survival are some unrealistic manuals for life written by someone trying to make a buck at your expense...well, drowning seems inevitable.
However, we have parents. We have friends in their 30s. We know people who survived being a twentysomething, and more likely than not, they barely kept their head above water for most of that time. But they survived.
I really wish I had someone tell me how to survive being a twentysomething when it doesn't involve being married before I graduate college, having mommy and daddy hand me job or a house, or staying in school for 10 years to become a doctor. How does the average person do it? How does the normal, middle-class twentysomething transition from the padded walls of the college to the booby-trap laden "real world" rushing at them?
Well, I don't have any answers, yet. But I do know how it feels, some things to watch out for, and how many tear-soaked nights it will take. And other people, who did it differently than me, will have insights I never had the priviledge of learning.
So this is my thought: These books we are encouraged to read don't have all the answers...but neither do I. But while I can't give solid answers (that's what those other books tried to do, and failed), I can leave behind the reassurance to other twentysomethings that someone else knows how it feels. It's going to hurt. You will cry...probably alot. You will deperately miss the friends that college easily handed to you and then just as easily ripped out from under you. It's going to feel like you are drowning, and it's going to feel like the struggling to get by will never end. And despite all of the hard stuff, some amazing things are going to happen in the midst of it, shaping who you end up being when you finally collapse on the shore, wiping the cruel water off your face.
I want to collect stories from twentysomethings. I want to hear how the people who got jobs handed them right out of college did it. Was it the luck of the draw, or did they do something brilliant to set themselves up for that? And either way, how did it feel to be a twentysomething and on your own? I want to hear how people who had a harder time figuring themselves out and finding a job than I did managed to keep their head above water and come out on the other side alive. I want to hear about those people who did manage to avoid the real world and go on an adventure. Did they love it, or was it hard as hell?
Maybe if I had read that book, one with a foundation in realism rather than idealism, maybe then I would have felt less alone in this whole process. Maybe if someone had told me that there isn't one way to be a twentysomething, I would have panicked less.
Maybe I will collect twentysomething stories someday, but first I need stop breathing in water and keep swimming toward the shore, however far away it may be.
Currently listening to: "Boston" by Augustana (Check out Imeem player at the bottom of the page)
6.28.2009
To be a twentysomething...
What does it mean to be a twentysomething?
twentysomething: (n) a young adult in their twenties
Well, isn't that enlightening? I technically qualify, according to Webster. But the textbook definition doesn't give any insight into how it feels to be a twentysomething, what you might encounter, or how to handle those potentially treacherous years.
Maybe someone else can help me. John Mayer, you cater to us coffee shop-dwelling twentysomethings, right? What can you tell me?
"It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul. Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?"
Ok, apparently John is still wondering too. Maybe he needs to read this post, if I ever come to a worthwhile conclustion.
Let's try someone else. Jamie Cullum has a song called "Twentysomething." That must hold some answers.
After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.
Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.
Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.
I don't want to get up,
just let me lie in,
leave me alone,
I'm a twenty something.
Maybe I'll just fall in love
that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more.
Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.
I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.
twentysomething: (n) a young adult in their twenties
Well, isn't that enlightening? I technically qualify, according to Webster. But the textbook definition doesn't give any insight into how it feels to be a twentysomething, what you might encounter, or how to handle those potentially treacherous years.
Maybe someone else can help me. John Mayer, you cater to us coffee shop-dwelling twentysomethings, right? What can you tell me?
"It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul. Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?"
Ok, apparently John is still wondering too. Maybe he needs to read this post, if I ever come to a worthwhile conclustion.
Let's try someone else. Jamie Cullum has a song called "Twentysomething." That must hold some answers.
After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.
Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.
Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.
I don't want to get up,
just let me lie in,
leave me alone,
I'm a twenty something.
Maybe I'll just fall in love
that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more.
Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.
I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.
So, after going through a soul-searching song writing process, the truth still eludes him and he just wants to be left alone. We're getting closer...
Maybe that's the point of being twentysomething. There are no answers, no right way to do anything, and no directions for you to follow. But I suppose that's the fun of it...the chance to tackle life without a solid game plan, letting things fly at you all willy-nilly and making spontaneous decisions.
To be a twentysomething is to know nothing and desire everything. To be a twentysomething is to be scared of a world that taunts you, but wanting to hold that same world inside you and let it tickle your insides, decorating your soul with its perfect moments and it's tears.
Currently Listening To: "Twentysomething" by Jamie Cullum (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)
To be a twentysomething is to know nothing and desire everything. To be a twentysomething is to be scared of a world that taunts you, but wanting to hold that same world inside you and let it tickle your insides, decorating your soul with its perfect moments and it's tears.
Currently Listening To: "Twentysomething" by Jamie Cullum (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)
Another Outlet
I feel the need to express myself constantly. I want people to get me, although I would venture to say most don't. That's ok. I tend to keep those people around who do get me, and the ones who life pulls from my presence are always close in my mind.
Despite the fact that I have been blessed with some kindred spirits in my life, I will probably always try to make myself heard to anyone who will listen. Hence why I started this blog. I already have a photoblog (Lifestill), but I need another outlet for my words. I'm also facing a lot of changes in my life, so I figured this was an easy, fun way to keep all of you cool people who care where I am and what I'm doing in the loop.
Here's a quick overview of my life at the moment:
Age: 23 going on 24, fully a twentysomething
Marital status: In a long distance relationship with my love, Todd. Our story involves 80s music, Craigslist, Chicago, and some perfect moments in home & living stores. He is one of the rare, priceless people who gets me.
Education status: I graduated from UF in May 2008, completed one semester of Adverting grad school, and then promptly quit grad school. Yes, I quit grad school when everyone else my age is hiding from the bad economy behind a big stack of textbooks and losing their souls to higher education. What's the smarter plan? Still being determined...
Job status: Currently a full-time intern at a biotechnology company, but job hunting like whoa in my spare time. Working in communications in Chicago is the ultimate goal.
Residence: Gainesville at the moment, but I'll be moving to Chicago as soon as someone hires me...or until I can't take it anymore and I take up temporary residence in a box, where I hear most liberal arts majors end up anyway.
Children: One adorable cockapoo puppy named Lexie.
General interests: photography, gray T-shirts, iced coffees, movie nights, obsessively checking the stats on my portfolio, writing cover letters, eating gelato, re-reading my favorite books, everything Todd, apartments with exposed brick walls, music with unexpected violins, investing in cold weather clothes
General outlook on life: Scared to death and more excited than I've ever been.
Some of these will change soon, some will stay the same. I'll let you know things when I know things!
Currently Listening To: "Why I Am" by Dave Matthews Band (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)
Currently Re-Reading: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
Despite the fact that I have been blessed with some kindred spirits in my life, I will probably always try to make myself heard to anyone who will listen. Hence why I started this blog. I already have a photoblog (Lifestill), but I need another outlet for my words. I'm also facing a lot of changes in my life, so I figured this was an easy, fun way to keep all of you cool people who care where I am and what I'm doing in the loop.
Here's a quick overview of my life at the moment:
Age: 23 going on 24, fully a twentysomething
Marital status: In a long distance relationship with my love, Todd. Our story involves 80s music, Craigslist, Chicago, and some perfect moments in home & living stores. He is one of the rare, priceless people who gets me.
Education status: I graduated from UF in May 2008, completed one semester of Adverting grad school, and then promptly quit grad school. Yes, I quit grad school when everyone else my age is hiding from the bad economy behind a big stack of textbooks and losing their souls to higher education. What's the smarter plan? Still being determined...
Job status: Currently a full-time intern at a biotechnology company, but job hunting like whoa in my spare time. Working in communications in Chicago is the ultimate goal.
Residence: Gainesville at the moment, but I'll be moving to Chicago as soon as someone hires me...or until I can't take it anymore and I take up temporary residence in a box, where I hear most liberal arts majors end up anyway.
Children: One adorable cockapoo puppy named Lexie.
General interests: photography, gray T-shirts, iced coffees, movie nights, obsessively checking the stats on my portfolio, writing cover letters, eating gelato, re-reading my favorite books, everything Todd, apartments with exposed brick walls, music with unexpected violins, investing in cold weather clothes
General outlook on life: Scared to death and more excited than I've ever been.
Some of these will change soon, some will stay the same. I'll let you know things when I know things!
Currently Listening To: "Why I Am" by Dave Matthews Band (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)
Currently Re-Reading: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
6.20.2009
6.15.2009
5.24.2009
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